I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
