remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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