I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
