I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
