Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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