you would pick up someone in the library
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
