how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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