There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize