What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
