my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
