he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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