I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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