maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
