Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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