I hope mine doesn't look like that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
