I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
