Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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