you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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