like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
