I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize