i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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