My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
