I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Farmville is her only friend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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