You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
