Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
