3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
from now on my penis is your penis
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
