A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
