would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
