I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
