I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
