This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm really busy with my period
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