Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
