At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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