the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
