some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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