was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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