there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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