Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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