At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
are you so shy because you have an std?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize