in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize