This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In other news, I just burned my penis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
