I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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