Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
