Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am spending my child support on dildos
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
