Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
