i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
