wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
