i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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