I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If that was your dad, he is hot
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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