They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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