True but thats because hes a fetus.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
