Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
