He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
