I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize