Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
