He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
