the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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