So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
