Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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