you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
