i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
