There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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